Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
only you would photoshop your dick
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Randomize
