was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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