Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
