for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
