last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Randomize
