Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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