How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Randomize
