Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
