Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
there was a trapeze. enough said
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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