he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
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It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
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Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
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