are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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