trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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