whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
All I want is dick and wine.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
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