Duck Duck Cougar?
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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