Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Randomize
