my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
