even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
bring money and cleavage
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
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I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
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Shitshow foam night was such a success
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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