worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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