shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
why is half of my head shaved?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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