Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
do herpes really smell.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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