i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
