is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
