i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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