Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
