A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
