hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
