Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Dick very happy bro
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
