hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
