how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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