i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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