it's not cheating when I paid for it
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
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