Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
