just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
