I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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