at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
