LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Randomize
