i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
You ruined the universe
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
