I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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