No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
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