I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
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i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
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And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Randomize