We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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