This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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