someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
My dick has a subreddit
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
