Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
