Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
