Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
