Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
