well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
50% drunk capacity currently
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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