My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
