The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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