break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Randomize
