Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
