It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
