so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Boobs speak an international language.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize