like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
